Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
