There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
