community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
