all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
