3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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