Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
