Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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