just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
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