There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
