Jerry, you need to find god
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
