you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Randomize
