i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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