a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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