Christians are straight up FREAKS
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
