I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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