he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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