I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
