she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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