We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
