PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
