Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
