Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
