Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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