Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
