Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
