so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
