There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
