Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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