I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
