She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
