So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
