I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
