told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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