Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
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