Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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