i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
