She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
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