i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
