I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
