Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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