I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
