This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
