do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
