Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
