Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
