I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
