Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
