maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
