its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
He has the fingertips of a God
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