Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Randomize
