Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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