My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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