I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
